AUTHOR: Brad DATE: 11/17/2003 08:10:00 PM ----- BODY: Bidding a Fond Farewell...To My Appendix

Last week, the nagging stomach problem I've been having decided to come back while I was working. It felt like this giant bowling ball of pain was lodged in my midsection. By the end of the morning on Tuesday, I couldn't take it anymore and left to try to get better. After several hours of trying to rest, I realized something wasn't right. Luckily, my doctor was able to squeeze me in his schedule that afternoon, and I was able to drive out to visit him. Right away, my doctor started pressing on different areas of my stomach. I felt no specific pain until he pressed on the lower right portion. It was a horrible pain. My doctor ordered I get bloodwork done and have a CAT scan. The bloodwork came back showing my white blood cells were high and my scan showed that my appendix and surrounding lymph nodes were enflamed. There was also scarring around my appendix which was a sign that I had suffered from an aggrevated appendix in the past. The surgeon told me that I should call him that night if things got bad or else he would call me in the morning to see how I was doing. If it still hurt in the morning, he wanted to operate. Meanwhile, my friend Katie was driving into town to see the Polyphonic Spree concert with me that very same night. I called her to tell her my unfortunate news and she said she was going to come anyway. She arrive later on that night at my apartment and we stayed up for a while catching up on each other's lives. I hadn't seen her for a good six months or so because she was abroad last semester. Sure enough, the pain never subsided and I was under the knife by Wednesday afternoon. I don't remember much. Actually, the only thing I remember is saying hi to Kerry (our director of clinical services) and Katie as I was first hooked up to an IV. Next thing I know, I woke up and they were telling me I was all done. That's it. I don't remember them placing a mask over me or anything. Katie was there waiting for me in my room and was just an amazing friend through the whole ordeal. I was sore and still a little drugged up after coming out of it, but little did I know the worst part of the whole experience was just around the corner... At about 11, Katie left and I gave her keys to my place so she could sleep in a bed and not in a chair all night. The nurses told me that I had to urinate before going to bed because they said sometimes the drugs and surgery can make it difficult to go. I tried several times. It was so frustrating because I felt it coming and I couldn't even get a drip. I tried everything to get a flow going...standing, sitting, tickling different parts of my body, and turning the water on at various speeds. Nothing worked. Finally, after 15 minutes in the bathroom, a nurse knocked on the door and said what I was afraid of. She said, "Well, we'll just have to cath you, then." With those words of doom, I had to lay down on my bed and prepare for the worst. Apparently, they had already stuck the tube up me while I was unconscious which shocked me in itself, but something told me this was going to be much different. Next thing I knew, she lady shoved the tube up my urethra. It was, hands down, the most painful thing I have ever felt in my life. Nothing can compare to the pain. I was moving around violently and the lady had to hold me down with her free hand so I didn't rip her other hand away. She then left it in and pee started flowing into a plastic bowl. Then, they had to pull the tube back out. The whole process lasted about a minute, but I would rather go through two appedicitis' then experience that ever again. I went home early Thursday afternoon when my mom arrived. She took me home and we got painkillers at the drug store. The meds that they gave me are, ironically, the same kind Rush Limbaugh got addicted to. Since then, I've been taking it easy and relaxing. My mom left the next day and my dad, stepmother, and half-sister came into town on Saturday. They are here all week for the American Royal Horse Show so it's been good to see them, too. Tomorrow will be my first day of work since in a week so I am a little nervous about getting caught up. I'm also worried about making through the whole day. My wound is right on my waistline which will not be fun when I have to get dressed up and weard a belt tomorrow for 12 hours or so. My meds also wear me out a ton so I hope I'll be able to make it. The biggest surprise to me through the whole ordeal is that, even though I don't know many people here, the people I do know have gone out of their way to make sure I was doing alright. I had some of my nurses from work visiting me and/or sending me balloons, neighbors brought cookies over, and people from work came over and cooked me dinner one night. I couldn't believe it. -------- AUTHOR: Brad DATE: 11/17/2003 06:15:00 PM ----- BODY: Midgets, Concerts, and a Fake Penis

What do those things have to do with me? Well, let me tell you. They actually all have been topics of things I've been meaning to write about in the past few weeks. I'll start from the beginning and work my way to the present... Midgets -- A girl that I work with, Amy, had her birthday on a Friday and her boyfriend decided to have a surprise party for her after we got out of work. Earlier in the week, Amy had revealed to us her discovery that Dante Hall (yes, the stud who plays for the Chiefs) lives right across the street from her so we were excited at the thought of possibly seeing him, as well. Little did she know, though, we hired a midget stripper to surprise her even more! Her place was all done up with streamers, balloons, all kinds of great food, and free alcohol. We cleared off a space for my friend to sit and started the music. She figured out we got her a stripper, but she was in no way prepared for what she saw run in from the outside. As the music blasted, Chris, the midget stripper/wrestler ran in from doing his pushups outside to warmup. He was wearing a black and white Adidas jumpsuit. I must admit, I was a little disappointed in him, though. He was proportional and not "midget-like" and he was really buff. The little guy did put on quite a show. He danced to four songs and stripped down to a thong by the end of his performance. He also had a semi the whole time which, according to Amy, was not fake at all. It was a hilarious night and it had been a long time since I had laughed until I cried. Fake Penis -- For Halloween, I broke out an old house party costume that was a hit with everyone including the locals at the bar we went to. Dressed in retro gear, tight pants, and a cucumber in my crotch, I was Dirk Diggler from Boogie Nights. I've never had so many people touching and grabbing at that region of my body before in my life. Concert -- On Sunday, November 4th, my buddy Colin drove into town so we could watch Spiritualized in concert at the Granada Theater in Lawrence. Our first thought was that we were both shocked at how few people were in the audience. Spiritualized is a band that, only four years ago, was regarded as the best live band in the world by most critics. They even have a live album from a sold out show at Royal Albert Hall. That night, however, I was a member of a crowd of maybe 150 people in a small venue. Colin and I were in shock but were both really pumped to see the band in such an intimate environment. After seeing them, I can honestly say that they are a band that can simply rock. Jason Pierce is a man that I have really admired over the years, and it was great to see him in the flesh. The only problem about him is that you can totally tell the guy is a complete jerk. He sat down in a chair the whole time while the band played and didn't acknowledge the crowd once. That's right, he didn't even say "thank you" or "goodnight" or anything. It was also hard for me to enjoy some of the songs without the massive symphony and gospel choir accompanying many of the song's arrangements. Songs like "Let It All Come Down" just miss that added "umph" without those things. All in all, though, the concert was impressive and the light show was out of this world. The show incorporated the most strobe effects I've seen in my life. It was to the point where my friend and I had to turn our heads away because it was too difficult to stare at the stage at times. At the end of the evening, with my ears still buzzing, I realized that I saw a great band. Though I wish I could have seen them on their last tour when they were on top of their game, it was still an impressive concert. --------