AUTHOR: Brad DATE: 8/23/2003 10:16:00 PM ----- BODY: Going Back In the Cocoon?

For most of my life I have been considered a pretty personable guy. In fact, many friends have given me a hard time for being the social butterfly wherever we go. It isn't long ago that I remember being able to walk into any bar in Ames knowing a decent amount of people in the bar. For some reason, my social mentality has completely changed since moving to Kansas City. I don't care about going out and meeting people. Even when I go out and am introduced to people I still don't really even bother to continue a conversation to them. I used to think it was because I had gotten so accustomed to living alone that I just wasn't able to converse as well with others. Now, however, I believe it is because the scene here is totally different than anywhere I've been before. In Iowa, I was surrounded by friends I already knew in places where I knew I would likely see those people again. Here, though, I know that pretty much everyone I meet will become strangers at the end of the night. In a city so big, the chances are rare that I will even see them again. I guess I believe it is pointless. I can't figure out if it is okay to have such an attitude or if it'd be more beneficial to not care about the continued duration of newfound acquaintances from my nights out. One thing is certain, though, and that is the fact that I'm alone again on a weekend night which is something that would never had happened to me prior to my relocation to Kansas. I have lived here for almost four months and still barely know anyone. This, coupled with the fact that I seem to get nightly phone calls from friends still in college partying it up before school starts back up, makes me wonder if I should reevaluate my current social life. -------- AUTHOR: Brad DATE: 8/09/2003 12:28:00 AM ----- BODY: The Real Reason I Have This Site

A friend asked me recently why on earth I created a website comprised almost entirely of my thoughts for anyone to see. "Is it like a diary," she asked. This is not some sort of diary. This isn't some sort of thing I do to make me "feel better" or anything. There's a reasoning behind it that I want to clear up for anyone who may question the purpose of why I write on this thing. It all starts with my motivation for life which, in turn, actually started when I was roughly ten years old living in Dublin, Ohio. I went to go see a friend play in a Pop Warner football game and we went exploring around the area after he played. We stumbled upon an old graveyard and were compelled to examine the scene further. The markings on the tombstones were very faded so it was difficult to really even make out the names of the individuals who were buried there. For a while, my friend and I attempted to decipher the names and dates etched into each slab of rock. Some of them had old names that aren't even used these days, a few had died on Halloween, and one died on the 4th of July. To be honest, it kind of freaked us out. Thinking back, that experience has had one of the most profound effects on my life. Each one of the people in that graveyard most likely had a career. They had a family they were proud of and they had kinships in which they shared some of their best memories. These people were human beings just as I am today, and their existance had been reduced to nothing but a faded tombstone that allowed two kids to barely even read three things: their name, their date of birth, and their date of death. That's it. Since that moment, I have lived my life almost obsessed with death. I am terrified to live my life with seemingly insignificant acts that will end up not mattering when some kids stand above my faded tombstone someday and I barely even have those three things to show for my life. I've always wanted to do something that would last, whether it was inventing something, making music, or just doing something great someday. This site is a safe bet for creating something of substance that will last the test of time. Barring the chance of a technological disaster someday, this site will always remain accessable to others. My thoughts will be nothing but flashes left in the rotting mind of my corpse someday, but this is allowing me to create something concrete with those thoughts. Someday I would like to create my own domain name with some clever URL address. Who knows, maybe I'll decided to use it to represent me someday. Like, along with my name, date of birth, and date of death, I'll put" "Visit www.[my website].com to learn about me and my life". That is why I decided to to this in the first place. I hope it makes sense. To those of you who got this site from my tombstone, hello and thanks for visiting. -------- AUTHOR: Brad DATE: 8/07/2003 09:17:00 PM ----- BODY: Are You Kidding Me?

My 4 year old half-sister has been a big fan of Blue's Clues ever since she was able to comprehend the concept of television. The show bothered me to no end because Steve, the show's only non-cartoon character, was just way too annoying. The guy was a complete dork who was just way too excited about everything. I guess that's why kids took to him so much. I always wondered if he was like that in real life or if he was just that unique that he could act like a complete fool in front of a camera. Well, it appears that my question has been answered. Steve (real name: Steve Burns) is apparently a pretty cool guy. In fact, he has recently teamed up with some members of the Flaming Lips to create his own album after getting to know one of them in college. Yes, the Steve from Blue's Clues is now an indie artist. He even looks halfway normal. I couldn't stop laughing when I found out about this. I now own the album and I must say that it is pretty darn good. Actually, it's really good. Information about Steve's new project and a couple of his videos can be seen on his website. --------